The biggest challenge has been that my career in coaching often conflicted with time at home. As our children grew, I realized I needed to pull back from coaching in order to be more present. At one point, my wife and I felt like we were spending most of our lives pouring into other people’s children and not enough time into our own. That realization led us to make a major life change... I’ve always resonated with a quote from college basketball coach Buzz Williams: “Be famous in your home.”

On a summer night in 1978 my father and I escaped from communist Vietnam. That journey left a permanent mark on my childhood and on the bond we shared. My father was the only parent I had during my formative years. Our relationship was close, but it was no-nonsense and one-directional. When I held my daughter for the first time, I knew I wanted my kids to look up to me the way I looked up to my father. At the same time, I also knew I wanted to be a different kind of dad.

When I became a father, I felt completely unprepared. I knew the kind of father I didn’t want to be, but I had no clear picture of the father God was calling me to become. I decided to go through Dad Academy with my son-in-law because I didn’t want him to struggle the way I did. I wanted him to start fatherhood with clarity and confidence. What I didn’t expect was how much I would grow as a grandfather.